Ahhh...Refreshment

Today was a great day!!! I began as I begin all mornings; I do not let my feet touch the floor before I pray. I instructed my children to do their "first chores" the morning ritual of making beds, picking up toys, and putting away laundry folded the night before while I do my morning workout. My husband came home, gave us all hugs and went directly to bed as per usual after a night shift. I made one change in our morning routine and I believe it made all the difference in our day. I moved our Bible lesson and main prayer time from before bed to before breakfast.

There is just something refreshing about beginning the day in the Word and in prayer. It is like setting a force-field of protection around my heart and mind that lasts all day. We were all more relaxed, loving, kind, and patient all day. From there I made another small change; I decided my work could wait until after school when we all do chores and I spent the morning playing with my kids, taking a break to engage in a refreshing and encouraging phone conversation with a friend.

There is just something refreshing about spending time with friends. I have been taking more time to spend with my sisters in Christ lately and I have noticed a direct effect on my mood. God designed us to need each other "Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their labor, for if either of them falls the one will lift up his companion. but woe to the one who falls and there is not another to lift him up. Furthermore, if two lie down together they can keep warm, but how can one be kept warm alone? And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart." Ecc 4:9-12 (NASB) and to crave His word "Like newborn babes, long for the pure milk of the word, that by it you may grow in respect to salvation" 1 Peter 2:2 (NASB)

I have found that when I let the Word guide me, spend more time in heartfelt prayer, and take time with Christian friends I am refreshed, refilled and ready to fill and nurture my family. If I allow myself to get empty I get into trouble because I can't give what I do not have. I have to have the Word of God locked in my heart (Ps 119:11) so I may raise my kids according to the Word, I have to be full of Gods love so that I may pour it out on my children and so fill them up as well.

I Just Lost It

Tonight I will be spending a lot of time in prayer seeking forgiveness and guidance. I just lost it with my kids tonight. I don't know how it started or why I got so angry and frustrated; we were having a great day, then we had dinner. Dinner, as per usual, did not turn out the way I had planned; my husband started his week of night shifts tonight so I was a little rushed in getting everything ready on time. I had cooked ribs all day in the crock pot, however upon cutting them for the kids we discovered they were still not completely cooked; we were out of time so I had to throw them back in and make sandwiches. My husband left in the middle of dinner and chaos ensued; I had a crying baby, an obstinate toddler, a defiant three year old, a wild five year old, and a first grader with two days of make-up work to do (because his absent minded mother forgot to pick it up on Friday)

In short I was completely overwhelmed; I had too much noise, and too much commotion to handle. I gave everyone a task to do thinking it would calm things down while I got the baby settled and in bed, I was wrong. I did get the baby settled and in bed, but I came up the stairs to find more noise, and more commotion than I had left. Coloring supplies were strewn wildly about the floor, volcano worksheets looked as if they had been thrown from a volcano all over the table, and a race was taking place from the living room around through the kitchen. The tasks of cleaning up bedrooms had not been completed after four little voices had assured me they were finished and I could not handle it.

I just lost it. I yelled at my four sweet little blessings. I am not a yeller and I am always heartsick when I see and hear parents yelling at their children; yet tonight I yelled at my children. After calming myself down a little we got the volcano worksheets completed, placed in the homework folder and the folder into the back-pack; I cleaned up from dinner; and we got the bedrooms picked up. I got their teeth brushed, their jammies on, and we all piled onto my daughters bed for our Bible time. I thought things were looking up, Bible time is everyones favorite time of day, it doesn't matter what time we do our Bible time itis always a good time. Not tonight, they were all just too squirly, they wouldn't sit still, they wouldn't leave wach other alone, they would not stop fighting. I had to cut our time short and put them all to bed early; no hot chocolate date tonight, a tearful repentent prayer time with each child and an early bed time.

I hate the way things went tonight, I hate that I yelled at them, I hate that we cut our Bible time short, I hat e that I had to take away my son's alone time with me. But I love that I learned something about God's mercy and grace tonight. I am a flawed individual, and even though I try to appear perfect to my kids I am anything but. I can only parent these children through the grace of God, I can only give them what I receive from Him. I can only teach them repentence if I am willing to do it. I failed miserably at being a good mother tonight, but in the morning (because they are all asleep now) I will excell at showing them a repentent sinner. I will show them a Biblical modle of asking forgiveness when I apologize for my wrongs and ask their forgiven. I will show them my dependenc on an need for God when I pray for His wisdom and guidance throughout the day. Finally I will be able to show them what it is like to allow God to teach and guide us through our mistakes as I stop to pray before I lose it te next time things get out of control or anytime I need to discipline them. I will show them I can't be the mom He wants me to be if I am not following His teachings and constantly in prayer.

New Year, New Me

The beginning of a new year is a time when many of us begin to asses the changes we would like to make in our lives to make this year better than last. It is a time when we are bombarded with commercials selling a beautiful new image; new clothes, diet plans, gym memberships, new cars, new home theater, new furnishings, new status symbols. As a I sit here 10 months after the birth of a baby it is really easy to look at myself through the worlds eyes and not like what I see. When I first sat down to make me resolutions for the new year weight loss and a new wardrobe to make me feel better about myself were the first things that came to mind; then a Sunday morning sermon entitled The Real Thing changed my mind.

I have put a lot of my value as a person into my outward appearance, and have long felt that I don't and never would have much value in this world if that was my only measuring stick. After really looking into the words of a favorite scripture passage I have changed my view not only of myself but of beauty itself.

"and let not your adornment be merely external braiding the hair and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God" 1 Peter 3:3-4 (NASB)

After examining this scripture I have come up with a list of resolutions for the coming year that will really improve who I am; better and more permanently than any diet plan ever could.

My Resolutions For 2009

• Daily prayer, and meditaiton on Scripture
• Listen more, talk less
• Teach my Children to love the Word of God
• Focus on the inner person, making sure I have a quiet and gentle spirit
• Completely cut out my residual and perpetual sins
• Focus on the blessings my children really are
• Reclaim the Sabbath as Holy to the Lord
• Really dedicate myself to the task of raising Godly children
• Let go of the demands and expectations of the world to live in the fullness of the Lord
• Learn my worth in Christ, let got of my worthlessness in the world
• Establish relationships that are the Real Thing

Please hold me accountable and ask me how these are going, it may seem like a daunting list but if I focus mainly on my realtionship with Christ I know all the rest will fall into place.

"I can do all things through him who strengthens me" Phil 4:13 (NASB)