Christmas Letter 2008

Dear Family and Friends,

This is my first time writing a Christmas letter, and we have had quite a year to write about! We have celebrated a birth, we have had three in school, we have been busy busy busy.

Sean is still working for Carestream, the twelve hour swing shifts have not gotten any easier in the last three years but we really feel blessed to have a steady job with good pay and great benefits. He is still involved in the Youth Group every now and then but has had to step back a bit with work and family demands.

Candice is loving being at home with the kids, especially now that three of them are in school all or part of the day and she doesn't have them all to herself anymore. She is still working on her book, to be named later, and hoping to get it done in time to use it for the women's Wed night class this summer at church. She has taken a step back from teen MOPS and is not attending or helping with the regular meetings; instead she is running a playgroup once a month for the moms and their kids. She is still busy volunteering in the school, and having a blast getting to know the kids and the teachers; the classroom is a haven for her. On Wed nights during the school year she helps prepare the children's musicals both Christmas and Spring by coaching and directing the soloists; a job she absolutely loves. This year she has finally found a "grown-up" MOPS group she feels comfortable in and will stay until Emery is in school. MOPS is a wonderful opportunity for her to connect with other moms, get encouragement, and adult conversation. All in all this has been a wonderful year full of friends, faith and love.

Jakob is six and has entered the world of full day school. He is in first grade and loving it. He has discovered a love of art, math, science, PE, and music. After beginning the year at Liberty Common, he is now back at O'Dea and blossoming into a caring, helpful, intelligent, spirited young man. We have our battles with this strong-willed child but we praise God for making him that way as we know it will help him in the future. He will be joining an after-school art club in January with some of his friends and he can't wait to start. Jakob is a very bold, outspoken Christian child. He is already telling other's about his faith and talking about getting baptized; we know we are still a few years away from our first child's baptism, but our hearts burst with joy as we see him growing in and sharing his faith.

RJ is now 5 and in his second year of pre-school, he is doing a full pre-k curriculum in a blended class of 3-5 year-olds some with special needs ranging from severe autism to minor speech delays. He is blooming into a very caring, kind helpful child with a servants heart. Nothing makes him happier than to help and serve others; sometimes he can be a little too helpful but who doesn't love a kid so willing to do extra chores. He is very active and can climb like a monkey so we have our work cut out for us trying to keep him safe. He is very creative and a wonderful big brother. He had a little adventure on a school field trip back in May; he fell and hit his head which ended up in a mild seizure, being unconscious for 30 minutes, and a trip to the ER in an ambulance. After waking up en route to the hospital he was no worse for the wear but a little more cautious. We are gearing up for kindergarten, registration is only two months away, and he is getting very excited. RJ is approaching the Lord in a new more humble way, he is very aware of Christ's sacrifice for us and is developing a love and hunger for scripture not a day goes by when he doesn't want to learn something new.

Cadi is three and having the time of her life in preschool. She is in RJ's class and will continue on in this class next year. She is taking after her mama in her love of singing, and is also in love with dance. We are hoping to get her into dance classes soon if our budget will allow it. She has discovered painting in school this year and she loves it so much they have a hard time getting her to do anything else. Cadi has really grasped the concept this year of Jesus being in our hearts and is in love with learning about her Savior, her prayers have just exploded into a new level of praying for others more than herself and we are so proud to see a love for and relationship with the Lord developing in her heart.

Aaden turned two this year and boy is he two! He is very active and loves trying to keep up with his brothers. He doesn't talk much, but when he does we know it is important so we do our best to listen and try to understand what he is trying to communicate. His favorite thing to do is play ball, he would play ball all day if it weren't for that silly nap time. He loves his big brothers and tends to think he is as big as they are which can get him into some sticky situations, but he always comes out on top. Aaden is learning to pray, he doesn't say much and we don't understand what he says but he is communicating heart to heart with God and that is all that matters.

Emery is coming up on ten months. She is crawling and starting to talk. She is our only baby to say "mama" before 18 months of age. She is a true mama's girl and likes nothing better than a snuggle with Candice, even when she is playing on the floor she always needs to check to make sure mam is close enough to touch just in case. She is very busy and likes to check out everything she can get her hands and/or mouth on. If mama is #1 in her life, exploring is #2.

Thank you for taking a minute to catch up with us. We wish you and yours a very merry Christmas, and a blessed New Year. In closing I would like to leave you with a verse that has been our families key verse this year. "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord 'plans for welfare and not calamity to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for me with all your heart.'" Jer 29:11-13 (NASB)

Love,
The Mclaren Family
Sean, Candice, Jakob, RJ, Cadi, Aaden, and Emery

A glimpse into my childrens' hearts

For Christmas this year we have finally set our gift giving tradition. In the past we have tried a few different methods such as one family present (a puppy that grew into a dog we no longer own), three gifts per person to remember the three gifts of the wise men, etc. This year is my favorite and the one we have settled on. We put our names in a hat and we each drew one, each person was given a $50 bill (a bit higher than the $40 I had planned but the math was easier) and the task of buying a gift that would speak to the heart of the recipient. As the time to shop drew near I was given the blessing of a glimpse into my children's hearts for each other.

I have to admit I really thought that they would focus more on what they wanted for themselves, and that when the time came to shop it would be a fight to get them to think of the person they were buying for; to be perfectly honest I put off the shopping for as long as I could because I was dreading the fights in the stores as I tried to get my kids to use their money for it's intended purpose. I never would have imagined that I would end up receiving a priceless gift from the Lord just in three brief shopping gifts.

My two year old drew his daddy's name so I got to help him pick out a gift for my husband; which I cannot talk about in case he reads this. But taking my little boy shopping was so wonderful, he was so proud of his gift it was hard to talk him in to letting me wrap it; he wanted his daddy to have it right now. He never once looked at or tried to get anything for himself, he did not whine or point to any of the movies he may have wanted even when we had to pass quite a few to get to the gift for daddy. He was so focused on doing something for daddy he didn't even stop to think about himself. Anyone who has ever taken a two year old into any type of store knows what a rare treat this was. I was so proud of him, and I saw for a moment the payoff of my work in trying to teach him to put others first.

Next was my five year old shopping for his three year old sister. I was really dreading this more than any of the others as he has had the worst case of the "gimmies" I have ever seen. I asked him if he had thought about Cadi and what she might like and he said he had and that he needed to go to Toys R Us. My first thought was to try to talk him into going somewhere else but for some unknown reason I said nothing and we went to the store he chose. We walked in and he was on a mission, he knew exactly what he was looking for and somehow knew exactly where to find it. As he looked at all the dolls and princess toys and accessories he talked through his choices. His sole purpose was to find her something she had said once, a few months ago, that she would like to have. He searched and searched until he found it, then beaming with joy he looking around for a few things to put in her stocking and proudly took his selections up to the register only pausing once to look at an umbrella he wanted for himself.

After I took him home it was my daughters turn to shop for the baby. With out a second thought she asked to got to Target to "get Emmy some baby keys, she needs keys because it isn't safe for her to have the real keys she likes to chew on. And she needs a baby of her own, I like to share mine but she needs some thing special for her own" (I may have paraphrased some of that it was a couple days ago!) Even as we walked past toys, dress up outfits, and activity kits I know she has asked for in the past her only though was getting her sister something special.

Although I know Jakob has purchased a special gift for me, a gift he thought about and was in tune with my needs and interests ( I know this because he came to me during my morning exercise and informed me that he was not going to tell my what kind of socks or Jimmie Johnson car he got me so it would be a surprise) They all have given me a more precious gift than they know. They opened up their hearts and let me see that what I teach them does make a difference. They can put others first and give out of love because I have taught them these things through the teachings of Christ. I got to see them put someone else ahead of themselves and really show their love for each other.

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another John 13:34 (NASB)

What Have I Done to the Sabbath?

Latley I have been noticing a trend in my weeks, I feel like I have completly lost control of myself, my kids, and my house. Previously I had no idea what was happening and how this came to be. I really thought I had it all together and I was really on a roll with my parenting, my house was staying realatively clean, I had energy, my mind was clear and focused; but it just didn't last. I have been wlaking around for quite some time now with a fog in my head, and a dark cloud over it. My discipline is ineffective, my energy level is way below zero, my house is always a wreck, and I am so distracted and forgetful I feel I belong in an instituiton.

What has happened to me? God was very gracious to give me a clear picture of what I have let happen to me and it all comes back to Sundays. Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it Holy. Six days shall you labor and do all your hard work, but the seventh day is a sabbath of the Lord your God...therefore the Lord blessed the sabbath and made it holy. Exodus 20:8-11 (NASB) I had always thought of the Sabbath as a day of rest; a day to go to church to whole heartedly worship the Lord then go home, watch the race ( I am a huge NASCAR fan) and just relax the whole day. However recently I haven't even been obeying the rest part of this particular commandment. I have filled my Sundays with stress and work; catch up on the housework, get ready for school, get everything I neglected all weekend long done before my husbands next stretch of 12 hour days, nights, or both, run errands, and finish any extra chores or projects needing attention.

My real problem is the second part of the command; keep it holy. Previously just going to church was, in my mind, enough to fulfill this part. I was wrong. The sabbath is a full day to be kept sacred, to focus on Crist and Spiritually refuel to face a week in the world. Just a Sunday morning worship service is simply not enough to prepare me for the week, however great the service may be (and I have never attended a worship service at our church that was anything less than great) My half hearted sabbath has crept from the afternoons into my Sunday mornings and I have begun to find myself distracted and stressed, worshipping half hearted or not at all. My weeks are showing this in full force.

I have realized, just today in fact, that if I were to take the whole day and set it apart to fully worship Him all day long, it would set the tone for my whole week. I feel that if I whole heartedly worship for the full sabbath I will wholeheartedly worship on Monday and continue through the week. This will set off a chain reaction, I will get my brain back, I will get my children back, my house will be a home, I will be connected and in tune with Christ and able to serve him as a servant, wife and mother ( in that order.) If I give the Sabbath back to the Lord, to whom it truly belongs, He will bless me, and I will beable to bless my family and my home.

Speech Therapy?

My little 2 year old has a bit of a speech delay; he is 28 months and has the vocabulary/speech level of an 18 month old. In a couple weeks he will see our family doctor to reevaluate his speech delay and decide where to go from here. It is looking more and more likely that he will have to enter into some speech therapy; this is proving to be a dilemma to me on a couple different levels, all of them come back to a question of faith.

My first issue stems out of Ephesians chapter 6 in which we are instructed "and fathers do not provoke your children to anger; but bring them up in the instruction and discipline of the Lord" Eph. 6:4 (NASB) If we are to put our sweet little boy into speech therapy not only will we be provoking him to anger, but we will be paying someone to make us do it. They will, most likely, have us force him to talk by only giving him his basic needs if he asks first. I am really not against this kind of therapy, our three year old was in physical therapy as an infant and our six year old will most likely need some OT off and on through the course of his life with Aspergers Syndrome and Sensory integration disorder; I am, however, against denying my sweet boy a drink because he didn't say the right word, especially if he signed the right word first.

My biggest issue is an issue of faith. Everyday in my prayers I pray for each individual child and one thing that is always the same everyday for each one of them is that God will have them grow and develop in the way He has planned. If I pray that in faith that He will answer, how can I doubt that my child is developing according to His plan. God made this child and He has a plan for him, He is faithful to answer prayer and I fell Aaden is on track with his development, he is on Gods track.

I want him to speak like a normal two year old, but more than that I want him to be the child God has planned; I don't want to try to interfere for the plans god has for him, but I want to do whatever I can to help him succeed. I think it is a problem most Christian mothers face, the temptation is strong and the world pulls at our hearts telling us we are not doing our jobs if we don't take everything into our own hands and make things happen for our kids. Often times I buy into what the world sells myself, this time I want to let go and let God take care of things His way. "For Thou didst form my inward parts; thou didst weave me together in my mother's womb.I will give thanks to Thee for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are thy works and my soul knows it very well" Psalm 139:13-14 (NASB) God made each and every one of us, our children included, and He made us with a plan and a purpose. Every imperfection we see is part of His plan for us; the beauty of His plan is that He gives us our strengths and our weaknesses to serve Him, to give Him glory, and to fulfill His plan. His strength is made know in our weaknesses.

My son may be slow to speak, but God has a plan to use Him. When I pray that Aaden will grow and develop in the way God has planned, I need to have more faith that he already is.

I Love Christmas!!!

I have to admit, I started listening to my Christmas music the 2nd week of November, I have been humming Carol of the Bells incessantly, and my tree has been up since the day after Thanksgiving. I guess you could say my whole year is summed up in the words of the popular Christmas tune "we need a little Christmas, right this very minute"

I also have to say that I have very little patience for people who dread and gripe about his time of year. I have never understood the term holiday stress, the holidays have never been stressful for me. Perhaps it is all in my perspective.

We have always, since marriage and children, minimized the commercial aspect of the holidays in order to maximize the spiritual. Under our tree this year you will find 7 sparsely filled stockings, 7 simple gifts, and one extravagant gift. We have never given our children any more than three gifts each, and they have never been expensive or unnecessary. One year we gave strictly scriptural gifts; bibles, devotionals, and veggie tales movies and games. This year we are revisiting my favorite Christmas. We each drew a name and will be buying a gift and stocking stuffers for only the person we drew with a $40 total limit. I am deeply saddened by the reactions I get when I tell people this; I have heard everything from "don't you want your kids to have a great Christmas?" to "wow, are you sad they won't be getting a good Christmas this year" and even "why are you robbing your family of Christmas"

I can't give my kids a great Christmas, because someone else already has. All I can do is keep their focus where it needs to be. I am positive it is working because my six year old does not have the gimmies, he has even said many times this holiday season that he doesn't like the Christmas season in the world because it is all about presents and things. "Don't they know it is about Jesus, and that is what makes Christams good?" he said one day after watching a Wal-Mart commercial. Tonight he prayed that the whole world would become Christians. I can't think of a better gift to my heart than to hear a child more concerned with the hearts of the lost than the toys he wants this time of year. What is funny is that he drew my name and without even realizing it gave me my gift tonight with his prayers.

Among our 7 gifts under the tree you will find the most extravagant gift the world has ever known, or at least a reminder of it. A simple lowly manger, where the King of Kings took His first nap; a cross where the Lord of all the nations died to free us all from our sins; and an empty box to remind us of the empty tomb He walked out of when He conquered death.

The only thing I could ever want for Christmas is to know that my children are on the right path, tonight I was given that gift. I love Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!

And an angel of the Lord suddenly stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them; and they were terribly frightened. And the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid; for I bring you good tidings of great joywhich shall be for all the people; today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior who is Christ the Lord."
Luke 2:9-11 (NASB)