More hours in the day

"Then Joshua spoke to the Lord in the day when the Lord delivered up the Amorites before the sons of Israel and he said in the sight of Israel 'Oh sun stand still at Gibeon and oh moon in the valley of Aijalon.' So the sun stood and the moon stopped, until the nation avenged themselves against there enemies." Joshua 10:12-13 (NASB)

Oh how I long for a day the sun would stand still and the moon stop long enough for me to avenge myself against my bitter enemies: Laundry, Dishes, Bathrooms, Vacuuming, Dusting; they are vicious foes and they triumph every time we go to battle. I need more hours in the day to get all this done. I want to be able to play with my kids in the backyard after homework is done with my first grader or before my preschoolers got to school without thinking about the stack of dirty dishes, the mountain of laundry, or the bathroom floor. I want the bathroom floor, the mountain of laundry ,and the stack of dirty dishes to stay done for more than an hour. Just once I would like to accomplish everything on my list and have the time my kids need to just have fun and be together.

We get through our chores, our homework, and most nights our Bible study and prayer, but things are never done!! I need more hours in the day! I just can't do everything on my own. The good news? I don't have to; "Be strong and courageous do not be afraid or tremble at them for the Lord your God is the one who goes with you He will not fail you or forsake you...The Lord is the one who goes ahead of you He will be with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed" Deut 31:6,8

God is with us we can do this; I will not fear my vicious foes, I will have the courage to face them day after day after day for I know my God is with me. He has called me to this task and if I lean on Him and trust in Him completely he will equip me for my daily struggle.

F.O.F

My almost seven month old daughter has made an incredible discovery over the last few weeks; she has determined that she desperately needs independent mobility. Being the youngest of five she has learned that if she wants something or needs to escape, she needs to do so for herself and quickly. For the past two months rolling around was sufficient to meet her mobility needs; that phase has passed and she now desires to crawl. She is not satisfied with the army crawl or her previous attempt at scooting across the floor on her back, she desires up on her hands and knees crawling. She is able to get up on her hands and knees and she is able to crawl; she , however, does not realize this. She doubts her ability to move all four limbs, independently, more than once. As an outsider I have observed her and I know without a doubt that she is able , the only thing holding her back is her own self doubt.

I started thinking about self doubt as I watched her this morning. I started thinking about my own self doubt. I continually doubt my ability to raise five children, keep them all safe, meet all their needs, train them for the Lord, give them each the individual attention they need, and still have enough of myself to give to the Lord, my husband , and the house. I am abounding in weaknesses in all of these areas. I sometimes wonder if God made a mistake when He chose me for these tasks; although I know He never makes mistakes. I only ever see my flaws, how wild my children are in public, how messy my house and my van always are, how I am always too tired to give any of my self to God or my husband genuinely, etc. etc. etc. The list of my failures and shortcomings is endless.

I was raised to only see my flaws, I was never praised as a child, all I ever heard was how I missed a spot on the counter, or my A should have been an A+, or how on note in my aria was just a bit sharp, or I will just never look as good as so and so but I should try harder anyway. Now I love my mom and I know she did the best she thought she could raising us to be humble, but I am so acutely in tune with my flaws and my failures that I have a hard time feeling worthy of motherhood. I suffer from a severe case of Fear of Failure (F.O.F.)

As I though about just how incredibly inept, and weak I am I remembered a passage I recently read to my kids. "And He said to me 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.' Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong." 2Cor 12:9-10 (NASB) God made me to do this job with my specific weaknesses so He can be my strength and so He can be glorified through me. He watches over me knowing that I can accomplish this task He has set before me because He made me to do it. Just as I watch over Emery knowing she is stronger and more capable than she believes.

Discipline?

A booklet was sent home with my two pre-schoolers yesterday; it was titled "How To Shape Or Change Your Childs Behavior". I though it would be interesting so I took a couple minutes to look through it. I was shocked at what I found inside. The basice premise was refocusing the attention you give to your child's (or children's) behavior. The first page stated that children crave attention and will do anything to get it, I completely agreed with this so I kept reading. It went on to say that or society focus most of our attention on the negative, even in our homes; it gave the example of a family member taking out the trash every day for a week then not doing it for one day. In most cases the other family members would not notice the 7 days the trash was taken out, they would only notice the one day it was skipped. I have to say I would probably do the same.

At this point the book was encouraging parents to spend more time acknowleding the good things, to give praise for the things our kids do right especially if we haven't told them to. I am in total support of the booklet up to this point. This year my oldest started first grade at a new school; our mornings have been terrible, full of crying screaming, spanking, etc. On monday this week he got himself up, got dressed , complete with socks and shoes which is our biggest morning struggle (really one of our biggest struggles with him period, his sensory integration issues make socks and shoes a huge ordeal) he made his own lunch and got his back pack ready to go, all before I was out of the shower. You would think he had cured cancer with all the praise I heaped on. I was truly proud of him and thankful that he took the responsibility to get himself ready. It is now wednesday and every day has been this way in the morning. All of the times I had to punish him for a bad morning were not half as effective as the one time I praised him for a job well done.

Then I turned the page to find in big bold letters: "Give attention to good behavior and ignore bad behavior." Ignore bad behavior? I could hardly believe that. The rest of the booklet gave simple ways to encourage good behavior, while continually reinforcing the idea of ignoring the bad behavior. One example it gave was to take a child who has colored on the wall and give her a coloring book instead. This is an example that is very vivid to me as I have four little wall, floor, and everything else artists. I have not yet found a solution to this problem but I can say from experience that ignoring it and giving the child a coloring book is not it!

The thought of ignoring my preschoolers bad behavior is just appaling to me. We are instructed to "Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it." Prov 22:6 (NASB). I just don't see how we can do that if we don't correct their bad behavior. I am all in favor of encouraging and praising good behavior, if we didn't we would have a bunch of discouraged frustrated children, believing they can do nothing right so why bother trying. But what happens to children who are never corrected? If we don't teach them that certain behaviors are simply unacceptable who will?

The Bible is very clear on how we should discipline our children. Proverbs is full of guidelines for parents. Here are a couple of my favorites regarding correction:"Do not hold back discipline from the child, even though you strike him with the rod he will not die." Prov 23:13 We are called to discipline our children and correct them when they do wrong. "Discipline your son while there is hope, do not desire his death" We need to raise our children right from the start so they will not fall away and die spiritually. If we fail to give them discipline now, they have no hope of developing self discipline. Ignoring a toddlers behavior will lead to ignoring a teenagers behavior. I wonder if the so-called "experts" that encourage parents to ignore a preschoolers bad behavior would also encourage parents to ignore their teenagers drugs, drining, or sexual behavior?

If we dscipline and correct our children now they will grow into disciplined, respectfull, hard working adults. We will be able to raise up a generation the fears the Lord. Our children will be a delight and a joy; "correct your son and he will give you comfort; he will also delight your soul." Prov 29:11

My first blog

I was recently inspired, by a friends blog on motherhood, to begin a blog of my own. In today's culture being the mother of many children is not widely accepted, add to that the close spacing of my children and I feel as though I'm Hester Prynn anytime I am out in public with my five little blessings.

I decided to start this as sort of a journal of my experience as the mother of a large family so that I might inspire or encourage others in the same position. I hope that when you read this you can relate to my experiences, learn from my mistakes, and just find comfort in knowing there are others out there trying to raise up a generation that fears the Lord.