A Day in the Life of a Real Homemaker

In today’s culture there are few occupations as misunderstood, criticized, romanticized, idealized, and understated as that of the homemaker. With popular culture enamored with both the Desperate Housewives of Wisteria Lane and the Real Housewives of Orange County, many real homemakers are under scrutiny, and are feeling worthless to society. I am not one of them; I am proud to be a homemaker and would like to invite you into a day in the life of a real homemaker.

The day begins at six in the morning with five children asking for everything from breakfast to play dates with the neighbors to television time to candy and soda. The requests are all denied and they are instructed to get dressed and complete their chores. Breakfast begins as soon as chores are completed and inspected; trying to keep up with everyone’s tastes and preferences is a bit like being a short order cook, so the rule here is that you eat what you are given with a smile or you are excused from the table. After breakfast is cleaned up, we sit down for a Bible study and prayer time. The most complicated time of day is up next, school. School begins with getting everyone back to the table, coloring books and simple activities are supplied for the two and three-year-olds’, and lessons are begun for the older three. The five-year-old is preparing for kindergarten, so we work on simple reading, writing and math readiness. The six-year-old will be entering first grade, and his lessons focus on skill building and kindergarten review. The eight-year-old is gearing up for third grade and working on writing, reading and math.

It’s eleven am, summer school is done for the day and the real fun begins. The kids are free to play while I begin the work. Dishes, kitchen, dining room, floors, vacuuming, and bathrooms are easy enough to tackle. I take a minute to drink a glass of water and take a deep breath and head downstairs to battle the laundry monster; in a family of seven, laundry is a never-ending task. One load in the wash, one in the dryer, one folded and put away; all of a sudden, it is time for lunch. Lunches are laid back and easy, typically pretty quick. Following lunch is rest time; the kids choose their books and head off to their beds to read quietly for a couple hours. I take this time to work on school work, catch up on e-mail, and make any important phone calls. The kids are rested and ready for fun so we head outside. Summer in Colorado is hot and dry, perfect for some water play. We get out the squirt guns, sprinklers, and hoses and play in the water. The kids get wet, the grass gets watered, we all cool off and have a great time together.

The day is winding down; it is time to go in for baths and dinner. To save time and water I put the youngest three in the bath together and then have the older two take their showers independently as I make dinner. Dinner is served; the kids help to set the table. I sit at the table chatting with the kids as they eat; I will eat later when my husband comes home from work. Dinner is one of my favorite times of the day; I get to see my children’s budding personalities as we talk at the dinner table. We clean up the table together, and head to the living room to pray before bed. Four of the kids get into bed, I tuck them in and kiss them goodnight. Each night one child gets to stay up to spend thirty minutes alone with Mom or Dad. This is the best time of day, spending one- on-one time with each child gives me the opportunity to bond with them in a way I can’t otherwise. The last child gets tucked into bed and kissed goodnight, then I do the dinner dishes, finish the day’s laundry, straighten up the house and finish my schoolwork. I get a few precious moments with my husband, then it’s off to bed to recharge and refresh so I’m prepared for the day to come.

A day in the life of a real housewife may not be filled with glamour, deceit, infidelity, excitement, or thrills; it is, however, full of joy and fulfillment. I can’t speak for the rest of the population, or for the other stay-at-home moms in the world, but I would take a day in my real life over anything portrayed on television without hesitation. The housewives on Wisteria Lane and in Orange County are popular, but not realistic. Their lives are full of drama; mine is filled with contentment, smiles, and an abundance of love.

Self

I have recently been engaged in a deadly battle with self. I have never thought of myself as a me centered person merely because I have never had anything but the lowest opinion of myself. I have always been somewhat of a doormat to others especially my family (parents, brothers and sister) I am daily consumed with thoughts about my inadequacies: "I am not pretty enough," I am not smart enough," "I am not thin enough," "I am not a good enough Christian," "I am not a good enough wife'" "I am not a good enough mother," "I am not a good enough homemaker" etc.

Tonight I realized that all of these thoughts are not only me-centered they are extremely and entirely toxic. I have let myself come between me and God, I have entriely let go of my quiet times reading and meditating on the Word and I have let go of prayer outside of mealtimes and prayer time with the kids. I have become so wrapped up in where I fail that I am blocking out the One who can rescue me from this pit of self pity.

I am writing this tonight with three direct purposes: first to all of my dear friends to whom I have become a negative person so down on life and distracted by self that I have begun to be a burden I sincerely and humbly apologize; second I am asking for prayers, encouragement, and mostly accountability as I embark on a mission to die to self and focus on the Lord first, family second, home third, and others fourth, putting my selfish attitudes completely out of my life and behind me; third to become the person, servant, wife, mother, etc that God has planned and designed me to be.

Thank you all for putting up with me as I have been such a selfish whinny brat!!!

"and He was saying to them all, "If anyone wishes to some after Me, he must deny himself, take up his cross daily and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake, he is the one who shall save it." Luke 9:23-24 (NASB)

Potty Training Chornicles Vol 2 ... HE DID IT!!!

Just as I had begun to lose myself in the endless monotony of heading to the bathroom every 15 minutes with no success, HE DID IT!!!!!! Of course it happened while I was away, Aaden went to his daddy said "potty time" and proceeded to use the potty for both #1 and #2 all on his own!!! And he has done it again and again and again.

I would not say that he is completely potty trained, I still have him in pull-ups to sleep and when we leave the house. He has however been having dry nap times and has stayed dry on many outings this week! He has even used to potty many different places away from home.

I wish I could claim this as a success for me but I can't. When it comes time to do this again I will be just as clueless!! Maybe I will finally learn the secret next time, ironically next time will be my last time. For now I will savor the thought of only having one child in diapers; thankfully I have never had three in diapers but this will be the first time in almost 6 years I will have only one in diapers.

Chronicles of Potty Training vol1

When I first learned I was pregnant with my first child the very first though I had was "I am going to have to potty train this child!" and I was literally terrified. My first attempt at potty training was a disaster, it took a full year to get him peeing and pooping on the potty and controlling himself through the day and the night. My second try was much better, however not because of anything I did. God blessed me with a child who potty trained himself in less than a two weeks; he was not even three yet and was staying dry both day and night and completely potty trained all on his own. Then I had to start all over, my daughter is very strong willed and was determined not to let the potty training be easy, but finally after a year of struggling she was potty trained. Now here I am again, fourth time around and still no clue!

Aaden's surgery was a tremendous success and he healed exceptionally quickly, as is a family trait, and he has expressed a desire in using the potty. His exact words were "big boy, potty now" he then jumped up ran to his room grabbed his Lightning McQueen underwear and went to sit on the potty. Nothing happened. He sat on the potty five more times that night, wore his big boy underwear around the house, and just before bedtime...had an accident. "That's okay," I said "Potty goes in the potty, not on Lightning." I put him in a diaper and put him to bed.

We are now three days into our potty training adventure and he has spent a great deal of time sitting on the potty and peeing in his underwear. I am going to have to put this one in God's hands. I have no clue what I am doing and I have done this before, I have read the books, I know most of the methods inside and out, I have exhausted them on the other kids. I still have no idea how to get this task accomplished.

I guess I will have to take this one day at atime. Besisdes no one goes to kindergarten in diapers... right???????????

Lessons form The Little House

Recently my children and I have enjoyed watching re-runs of Little House on the Prairie, a show I missed out on as a child but I loved reading the books. My younger ones lose interest pretty quickly but RJ and Jakob really love it. I wish there were still shows on TV worth watching as much as this one is (however I must admit I enjoy watching some shows I know are not worth my time) My favorite thing about the show is the portrayal of the family the way God intended and it makes me long for this family structure not only on TV but in every household. The marriage is strong, the father is the head of the family, the children are obedient and hard working, but most importantly the family is centered and founded in God, faith, and the Bible.

As much as I love the Ingalls and now the Wilders I have to admit that we have learned the most form the Oelson's. Yes I have made it a requirement for my children to answer me with a yes ma'am and I am working on their respect for all adults; we are all learning much stronger lessons from the Oelsons. These are the what not to do lessons. My children get very upset at the way Mrs. Oelson treats her husband so I have begun to become very aware of how I treat and respond to my husband. I have been learning to respect him more even when I don't feel like it, because it is important for me to follow God's Word and it is equally important for my kids to see me following God's Word. My children are learning why they don't get everything they want, why they get punished and why they treat people in a kind loving respectful way. Noone wants to be a Nellie or a Nancy Oelson!

It is refreshing to see such great programing was at one time allowed on TV with a real reverence for the Lord and His Teachings, but I pray for this kind of family to become the norm throught America and the world!

Surgery

I must start out with an apology to my readers, I realize it has been a very long time since my last post and I apologize for that. I have been having severe joint pain and stiffness in my fingers and wrists making it rather difficult to blog regularly.

Yesterday was a big first for me as a mom, my two year old had surgery. Granted it was a minor out-patient procedure I have known was coming since his birth, yet it was still an experience for me. My mom and I drove him down to the Children's Hospital in Aurora early in the morning; he was still rather sleepy and although I had told him he was going to have surgery I know he had no idea what was coming. After being stuck in stand-still traffic on I-25, we arrived 30 minutes late and still they got us right back to pre-op with no wait. God had blessed us with a cancellation in the surgery schedule so we got through the check-in and pre-op process in less than 45 minutes, we had planned on a two hour wait between check in at 8:15 and surgery at 10:15. The surgeon came in to talk to us about the procedure, followed by the LPN, three Anesthesiologists, and the nurse who would be assisting and we were off; my mom and I put on our lovely white paper suits, blue hats and masks and my little man walked right into the OR with no hesitation or fear. He looked so samll to me laying there on that table. He didn't even fight the anesthetic mask, he laid there holding my hand took a few breaths and drifted off. Then I had to leave him in the care of these strangers who would be operating on him.

After a surprisingly good cafeteria breakfast, some light chatting with my mom and a little knitting, they were ready to let me go back to him while he woke up. As I listenined to young childrenand babies waking up in recovery, screaming like I have never heard, I waited anxiously for my little guys eyes to open, thanking God the surgrey had gone exceptionally well, he had not been afraid, there had been no drama, I quietly prayed that he would wake up just as well. And he did! Not one tear, not even a grimmace or a whimper. He woke up quietly drank some juice and we were on our way home an hour later. throughout the evening he just amazed me with his resillience, by 4:00 you would have never guessed he'd had anything done at all, he was up running around happy as can be.

God worked so many things together yesterday, I am in awe that He would so intricately orchestrate such a simple thing. Not only did He show His hand in how well the surgery and recovery went (and are still going as there is no swelling or bruising and Aaden is in no pain at all) but He made the surgery on a Wednesday, Sean had off, and the big boys were at day camp. Sean only had to stay with the girls and they gave him a pretty rough time, but God knew how much Sean could take and arranged for me to get home early and take over.

What a mighty God we serve!

Totally Amazing; He Really Gets It

Last night our family attended a concert put on by the group Children of the World; they were orphans from Uganda with some of the most beautiful music, and heartbreaking testimonies I have ever heard. After the concert we got a chance to visit with these precious children. Their smiles were so warm and they were captivated both by my little blond haired blue eyed baby (and the fact that she has no teeth) and the Dr. Suess book she was holding. They took the book and began devouring it as if they had never seen a Dr. Suess book before; they stood in a little huddle all taking turns reading the strange sounds of Fox in Socks a couple times over.

Jakob was struck by their interest in reading and he gathered his four favorite Dr. Suess books we had in the van and gave them to these children. I had been feeling a bit guilty and ashamed that we had nothing to give these children when they took up a love offering, and that we walked by the sponsership table without being able to stop and sign up. I felt worthless as if we had nothing to give; but my seven year old son knew better. He knew that true giving is not measured by a dollar amount it is measured in your heart. He gave these children a true a heartfelt gift that they cherished. Now I realize it will not help the millions of children orphaned and abandonned in Africa; but it will bring some joy to the small group of children traveling around america for the first time, and they will be able to take the books back to the other children at the orphanage in Uganda and share the fun of Dr. Suess.

In a completely separate moment, Jakob and I had run to the store for some food for our new kitten and had parked next to a car with an RMHS Lobos sticker and he asked me what a Lobo was so we started talking about wolves. After talking about how sometimes wolves will kill a farmer or ranchers sheep he was very quiet for a little while then he said, "Mommy, Satan and his demons are a lot like wolves because they like to kill and destroy Gods sheep. But He is our shepherd and He protects us"

It was a great night for me as a mom; as he said those words I knew that I have set his little feet on the right path, the path that leads to his Heavenly Father. In those two instances, I saw his heart and heard his faith; I said to myself the struggle is worth it. I have been feeling pretty low as a mother and as a person for the last few months, I have been feeling like a failure but last night God used my son to show me that we are on the right path as long as we obey and follow Him in everything we do; including and especially raising our kids. He also showed me that feeling sorry for myself is no way to get out of this funk, prayer and trusting in Him through this season of struggle will get me through. If I humble myself, work hard, deny myself, take up my cross, and follow Him; I will be able to lead my children to Him as well. That should be my priority as a mother, not being super mom.

And to think I learned all that from my kid!!!!