Christmas Letter 2008

Dear Family and Friends,

This is my first time writing a Christmas letter, and we have had quite a year to write about! We have celebrated a birth, we have had three in school, we have been busy busy busy.

Sean is still working for Carestream, the twelve hour swing shifts have not gotten any easier in the last three years but we really feel blessed to have a steady job with good pay and great benefits. He is still involved in the Youth Group every now and then but has had to step back a bit with work and family demands.

Candice is loving being at home with the kids, especially now that three of them are in school all or part of the day and she doesn't have them all to herself anymore. She is still working on her book, to be named later, and hoping to get it done in time to use it for the women's Wed night class this summer at church. She has taken a step back from teen MOPS and is not attending or helping with the regular meetings; instead she is running a playgroup once a month for the moms and their kids. She is still busy volunteering in the school, and having a blast getting to know the kids and the teachers; the classroom is a haven for her. On Wed nights during the school year she helps prepare the children's musicals both Christmas and Spring by coaching and directing the soloists; a job she absolutely loves. This year she has finally found a "grown-up" MOPS group she feels comfortable in and will stay until Emery is in school. MOPS is a wonderful opportunity for her to connect with other moms, get encouragement, and adult conversation. All in all this has been a wonderful year full of friends, faith and love.

Jakob is six and has entered the world of full day school. He is in first grade and loving it. He has discovered a love of art, math, science, PE, and music. After beginning the year at Liberty Common, he is now back at O'Dea and blossoming into a caring, helpful, intelligent, spirited young man. We have our battles with this strong-willed child but we praise God for making him that way as we know it will help him in the future. He will be joining an after-school art club in January with some of his friends and he can't wait to start. Jakob is a very bold, outspoken Christian child. He is already telling other's about his faith and talking about getting baptized; we know we are still a few years away from our first child's baptism, but our hearts burst with joy as we see him growing in and sharing his faith.

RJ is now 5 and in his second year of pre-school, he is doing a full pre-k curriculum in a blended class of 3-5 year-olds some with special needs ranging from severe autism to minor speech delays. He is blooming into a very caring, kind helpful child with a servants heart. Nothing makes him happier than to help and serve others; sometimes he can be a little too helpful but who doesn't love a kid so willing to do extra chores. He is very active and can climb like a monkey so we have our work cut out for us trying to keep him safe. He is very creative and a wonderful big brother. He had a little adventure on a school field trip back in May; he fell and hit his head which ended up in a mild seizure, being unconscious for 30 minutes, and a trip to the ER in an ambulance. After waking up en route to the hospital he was no worse for the wear but a little more cautious. We are gearing up for kindergarten, registration is only two months away, and he is getting very excited. RJ is approaching the Lord in a new more humble way, he is very aware of Christ's sacrifice for us and is developing a love and hunger for scripture not a day goes by when he doesn't want to learn something new.

Cadi is three and having the time of her life in preschool. She is in RJ's class and will continue on in this class next year. She is taking after her mama in her love of singing, and is also in love with dance. We are hoping to get her into dance classes soon if our budget will allow it. She has discovered painting in school this year and she loves it so much they have a hard time getting her to do anything else. Cadi has really grasped the concept this year of Jesus being in our hearts and is in love with learning about her Savior, her prayers have just exploded into a new level of praying for others more than herself and we are so proud to see a love for and relationship with the Lord developing in her heart.

Aaden turned two this year and boy is he two! He is very active and loves trying to keep up with his brothers. He doesn't talk much, but when he does we know it is important so we do our best to listen and try to understand what he is trying to communicate. His favorite thing to do is play ball, he would play ball all day if it weren't for that silly nap time. He loves his big brothers and tends to think he is as big as they are which can get him into some sticky situations, but he always comes out on top. Aaden is learning to pray, he doesn't say much and we don't understand what he says but he is communicating heart to heart with God and that is all that matters.

Emery is coming up on ten months. She is crawling and starting to talk. She is our only baby to say "mama" before 18 months of age. She is a true mama's girl and likes nothing better than a snuggle with Candice, even when she is playing on the floor she always needs to check to make sure mam is close enough to touch just in case. She is very busy and likes to check out everything she can get her hands and/or mouth on. If mama is #1 in her life, exploring is #2.

Thank you for taking a minute to catch up with us. We wish you and yours a very merry Christmas, and a blessed New Year. In closing I would like to leave you with a verse that has been our families key verse this year. "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord 'plans for welfare and not calamity to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for me with all your heart.'" Jer 29:11-13 (NASB)

Love,
The Mclaren Family
Sean, Candice, Jakob, RJ, Cadi, Aaden, and Emery

A glimpse into my childrens' hearts

For Christmas this year we have finally set our gift giving tradition. In the past we have tried a few different methods such as one family present (a puppy that grew into a dog we no longer own), three gifts per person to remember the three gifts of the wise men, etc. This year is my favorite and the one we have settled on. We put our names in a hat and we each drew one, each person was given a $50 bill (a bit higher than the $40 I had planned but the math was easier) and the task of buying a gift that would speak to the heart of the recipient. As the time to shop drew near I was given the blessing of a glimpse into my children's hearts for each other.

I have to admit I really thought that they would focus more on what they wanted for themselves, and that when the time came to shop it would be a fight to get them to think of the person they were buying for; to be perfectly honest I put off the shopping for as long as I could because I was dreading the fights in the stores as I tried to get my kids to use their money for it's intended purpose. I never would have imagined that I would end up receiving a priceless gift from the Lord just in three brief shopping gifts.

My two year old drew his daddy's name so I got to help him pick out a gift for my husband; which I cannot talk about in case he reads this. But taking my little boy shopping was so wonderful, he was so proud of his gift it was hard to talk him in to letting me wrap it; he wanted his daddy to have it right now. He never once looked at or tried to get anything for himself, he did not whine or point to any of the movies he may have wanted even when we had to pass quite a few to get to the gift for daddy. He was so focused on doing something for daddy he didn't even stop to think about himself. Anyone who has ever taken a two year old into any type of store knows what a rare treat this was. I was so proud of him, and I saw for a moment the payoff of my work in trying to teach him to put others first.

Next was my five year old shopping for his three year old sister. I was really dreading this more than any of the others as he has had the worst case of the "gimmies" I have ever seen. I asked him if he had thought about Cadi and what she might like and he said he had and that he needed to go to Toys R Us. My first thought was to try to talk him into going somewhere else but for some unknown reason I said nothing and we went to the store he chose. We walked in and he was on a mission, he knew exactly what he was looking for and somehow knew exactly where to find it. As he looked at all the dolls and princess toys and accessories he talked through his choices. His sole purpose was to find her something she had said once, a few months ago, that she would like to have. He searched and searched until he found it, then beaming with joy he looking around for a few things to put in her stocking and proudly took his selections up to the register only pausing once to look at an umbrella he wanted for himself.

After I took him home it was my daughters turn to shop for the baby. With out a second thought she asked to got to Target to "get Emmy some baby keys, she needs keys because it isn't safe for her to have the real keys she likes to chew on. And she needs a baby of her own, I like to share mine but she needs some thing special for her own" (I may have paraphrased some of that it was a couple days ago!) Even as we walked past toys, dress up outfits, and activity kits I know she has asked for in the past her only though was getting her sister something special.

Although I know Jakob has purchased a special gift for me, a gift he thought about and was in tune with my needs and interests ( I know this because he came to me during my morning exercise and informed me that he was not going to tell my what kind of socks or Jimmie Johnson car he got me so it would be a surprise) They all have given me a more precious gift than they know. They opened up their hearts and let me see that what I teach them does make a difference. They can put others first and give out of love because I have taught them these things through the teachings of Christ. I got to see them put someone else ahead of themselves and really show their love for each other.

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another John 13:34 (NASB)

What Have I Done to the Sabbath?

Latley I have been noticing a trend in my weeks, I feel like I have completly lost control of myself, my kids, and my house. Previously I had no idea what was happening and how this came to be. I really thought I had it all together and I was really on a roll with my parenting, my house was staying realatively clean, I had energy, my mind was clear and focused; but it just didn't last. I have been wlaking around for quite some time now with a fog in my head, and a dark cloud over it. My discipline is ineffective, my energy level is way below zero, my house is always a wreck, and I am so distracted and forgetful I feel I belong in an instituiton.

What has happened to me? God was very gracious to give me a clear picture of what I have let happen to me and it all comes back to Sundays. Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it Holy. Six days shall you labor and do all your hard work, but the seventh day is a sabbath of the Lord your God...therefore the Lord blessed the sabbath and made it holy. Exodus 20:8-11 (NASB) I had always thought of the Sabbath as a day of rest; a day to go to church to whole heartedly worship the Lord then go home, watch the race ( I am a huge NASCAR fan) and just relax the whole day. However recently I haven't even been obeying the rest part of this particular commandment. I have filled my Sundays with stress and work; catch up on the housework, get ready for school, get everything I neglected all weekend long done before my husbands next stretch of 12 hour days, nights, or both, run errands, and finish any extra chores or projects needing attention.

My real problem is the second part of the command; keep it holy. Previously just going to church was, in my mind, enough to fulfill this part. I was wrong. The sabbath is a full day to be kept sacred, to focus on Crist and Spiritually refuel to face a week in the world. Just a Sunday morning worship service is simply not enough to prepare me for the week, however great the service may be (and I have never attended a worship service at our church that was anything less than great) My half hearted sabbath has crept from the afternoons into my Sunday mornings and I have begun to find myself distracted and stressed, worshipping half hearted or not at all. My weeks are showing this in full force.

I have realized, just today in fact, that if I were to take the whole day and set it apart to fully worship Him all day long, it would set the tone for my whole week. I feel that if I whole heartedly worship for the full sabbath I will wholeheartedly worship on Monday and continue through the week. This will set off a chain reaction, I will get my brain back, I will get my children back, my house will be a home, I will be connected and in tune with Christ and able to serve him as a servant, wife and mother ( in that order.) If I give the Sabbath back to the Lord, to whom it truly belongs, He will bless me, and I will beable to bless my family and my home.

Speech Therapy?

My little 2 year old has a bit of a speech delay; he is 28 months and has the vocabulary/speech level of an 18 month old. In a couple weeks he will see our family doctor to reevaluate his speech delay and decide where to go from here. It is looking more and more likely that he will have to enter into some speech therapy; this is proving to be a dilemma to me on a couple different levels, all of them come back to a question of faith.

My first issue stems out of Ephesians chapter 6 in which we are instructed "and fathers do not provoke your children to anger; but bring them up in the instruction and discipline of the Lord" Eph. 6:4 (NASB) If we are to put our sweet little boy into speech therapy not only will we be provoking him to anger, but we will be paying someone to make us do it. They will, most likely, have us force him to talk by only giving him his basic needs if he asks first. I am really not against this kind of therapy, our three year old was in physical therapy as an infant and our six year old will most likely need some OT off and on through the course of his life with Aspergers Syndrome and Sensory integration disorder; I am, however, against denying my sweet boy a drink because he didn't say the right word, especially if he signed the right word first.

My biggest issue is an issue of faith. Everyday in my prayers I pray for each individual child and one thing that is always the same everyday for each one of them is that God will have them grow and develop in the way He has planned. If I pray that in faith that He will answer, how can I doubt that my child is developing according to His plan. God made this child and He has a plan for him, He is faithful to answer prayer and I fell Aaden is on track with his development, he is on Gods track.

I want him to speak like a normal two year old, but more than that I want him to be the child God has planned; I don't want to try to interfere for the plans god has for him, but I want to do whatever I can to help him succeed. I think it is a problem most Christian mothers face, the temptation is strong and the world pulls at our hearts telling us we are not doing our jobs if we don't take everything into our own hands and make things happen for our kids. Often times I buy into what the world sells myself, this time I want to let go and let God take care of things His way. "For Thou didst form my inward parts; thou didst weave me together in my mother's womb.I will give thanks to Thee for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are thy works and my soul knows it very well" Psalm 139:13-14 (NASB) God made each and every one of us, our children included, and He made us with a plan and a purpose. Every imperfection we see is part of His plan for us; the beauty of His plan is that He gives us our strengths and our weaknesses to serve Him, to give Him glory, and to fulfill His plan. His strength is made know in our weaknesses.

My son may be slow to speak, but God has a plan to use Him. When I pray that Aaden will grow and develop in the way God has planned, I need to have more faith that he already is.

I Love Christmas!!!

I have to admit, I started listening to my Christmas music the 2nd week of November, I have been humming Carol of the Bells incessantly, and my tree has been up since the day after Thanksgiving. I guess you could say my whole year is summed up in the words of the popular Christmas tune "we need a little Christmas, right this very minute"

I also have to say that I have very little patience for people who dread and gripe about his time of year. I have never understood the term holiday stress, the holidays have never been stressful for me. Perhaps it is all in my perspective.

We have always, since marriage and children, minimized the commercial aspect of the holidays in order to maximize the spiritual. Under our tree this year you will find 7 sparsely filled stockings, 7 simple gifts, and one extravagant gift. We have never given our children any more than three gifts each, and they have never been expensive or unnecessary. One year we gave strictly scriptural gifts; bibles, devotionals, and veggie tales movies and games. This year we are revisiting my favorite Christmas. We each drew a name and will be buying a gift and stocking stuffers for only the person we drew with a $40 total limit. I am deeply saddened by the reactions I get when I tell people this; I have heard everything from "don't you want your kids to have a great Christmas?" to "wow, are you sad they won't be getting a good Christmas this year" and even "why are you robbing your family of Christmas"

I can't give my kids a great Christmas, because someone else already has. All I can do is keep their focus where it needs to be. I am positive it is working because my six year old does not have the gimmies, he has even said many times this holiday season that he doesn't like the Christmas season in the world because it is all about presents and things. "Don't they know it is about Jesus, and that is what makes Christams good?" he said one day after watching a Wal-Mart commercial. Tonight he prayed that the whole world would become Christians. I can't think of a better gift to my heart than to hear a child more concerned with the hearts of the lost than the toys he wants this time of year. What is funny is that he drew my name and without even realizing it gave me my gift tonight with his prayers.

Among our 7 gifts under the tree you will find the most extravagant gift the world has ever known, or at least a reminder of it. A simple lowly manger, where the King of Kings took His first nap; a cross where the Lord of all the nations died to free us all from our sins; and an empty box to remind us of the empty tomb He walked out of when He conquered death.

The only thing I could ever want for Christmas is to know that my children are on the right path, tonight I was given that gift. I love Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!

And an angel of the Lord suddenly stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them; and they were terribly frightened. And the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid; for I bring you good tidings of great joywhich shall be for all the people; today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior who is Christ the Lord."
Luke 2:9-11 (NASB)

So Much to be Thankful For

This is the time of year when I, along with the rest of the population, take time out of my busy schedule to reflect on all I have to be thankful for. Much of my list is more or less predictable, some of it may be surprising. I would like to take a few moments to share my list of things to be thankful for. This is in no particular order, just the way things come to my mind.

• I am eternally thankful for my Lord and Savior "who although He existed in the form of God, did not consider equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. For this reason God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name." Phil 2:6-9 (NASB)
  
• I am thankful for my five wonderful children who fill my life and my home with joy and laughter
• I am thankful for children's' hearts full of love for the lord, and a desire to know Him more.
• I am thankful for our home, and all the Lord's provisions
  
• I am thankful for good friends who are a network of support, encouragement, accountability, and fun
• I am thankful for one family in particular who are always there for me, love me and my family, pray for me and my family, offer a helping hand without thinking twice, encourage me as a Christian, a wife and a mother, and hold me accountable to God's Word.
  
• I am thankful for my church family
• I am thankful for the little things God places before me everyday to bring me closer to Him
• I am thankful to be living in a nation where I can freely worship and honor my God
• I am thankful for this quiet time in my day when I can take the time to be thankful.
  

Hot Chocolate for two

We have a new routine in our house and I am hoping it turns into an ongoing tradition. As with all great family traditions this one came about by accident, and out of chaos; but it turned into a great experience.

I wrote yesterday about my son's music program last night. I had told my children that if all went well and we had enough time we could have some hot chocolate when we got home . I had to revoke that privilege from all but one child due to their lack of obedience throughout the evening. So I let my five year old stay up after the others had gone to bed and we sat at the table together having our hot chocolate.

As I sat with him I realized the importance of this quiet time alone with him, and the impact spending time alone with me would have on him. We did not have any deep conversation, there were no teachable moments; there was me and my son, supreme silliness, fits of giggles, and a few belly laughs. I decided at that moment that I need to do this every week with every child for the rest of the time I am blessed to have them in my home.

I spend a lot of time thinking about and planning for my children's teenage years. I want them to have an established relationship with the Lord and an established relationship with me. I want them to talk to me about everything, from schoolwork to friends/relationships to their walk with God to whatever is on their minds or hearts at any given time. This is my goal and I have 6 short years to achieve it before my oldest enters teenhood. That does not seem long enough to reach such a lofty goal, especially with the world working against me. Everything the world , from the media to peers in school to my own family full of teens, teaches teens to pull away from their parents, shut them out, and strive for complete independence; here I am trying to teach my children to draw close to me, let me in, and strive for complete dependence on the Lord. It is something I will have to start working on now. I am already excited about tomorrows date with my oldest.

Our hot chocolate (ice cream in the summer!!) dates may not seem significant now, we may not delve into politics and theology quite yet; they will most likely consist of horrible knock-knock jokes, why did the chicken cross the road, and silly words like schnooger cat (which had my five year old rolling on the floor laughing) but we are laying the foundation for the relationship I hope to build. As with any project this will take prayer, planning, and persistance; there will be bumps in the road, moody kids, nights we have to skip our date for one reason or another. In the end it will be well worth the work; when my 6 years are up and my children begin to enter teenhood I will have the relationship I desire with them because I started when they were young.

Make a joyfull noise to the Lord

Nothing soothes my weary spirit more than little voices raised in song. My son had his school music program tonight; I went alone with my five children in tow and was not at all in a joyful mood. It seems whenever we go out in public it brings out the worst behavior in my children; they are loud, disobedient, wild, and disrespectful to others. At least they were tonight.

When the music started and the 1st and 2nd grade classes started singing together we were all hushed and instantly smiling. They were singing a song from my all time favorite musical, a song we sing and listen to su much my sweet baby Emery raised her hands and started cooing along. I love hearing my kids sing. This was a school production so the selections were secular folk songs that most first graders learn; I've Been Working on the Railroad, She'll Be Coming 'Round the Mountain, Erie Canal, etc.

Little voices raised in song is a beautiful thing. Even more beautiful is when they sing praise to their creator and songs that tell His story. God has created us to be musical, He wants us to sing His praises, to let the joy He alone can give bubble over and come out in song. As I sat amazed at how such a stressful evening could turn so enjoyable in an instant I reminded myself how amazing God is that He can turn anything into joy.

So I encourage everyone to sing, sing for joy to the Lord. At your lowest point, at your most weary, when you think it is not possible to be more stressed than you are at the moment, sing to the Lord. Just break forth in song and let it all out. As I put my baby to bed tonight I started singing His Eye is on the Sparrow without even realizing it. As I sang I was lifted and energized. Even after two sleepless nights caring for a sick child and the efforts I was making not to spread my own ailment (pink eye, yuck) to my kids; I feel great tonight know the power of praise.

Praise the Lord! Praise God in His sanctuary; praise Him in His mighty expanse. Praise Him for His mighty deeds; Praise Him according to His excellent greatness. Praise Him with trumpet sound; praise Him with harp and lyre. Praise Him with timbrel and dancing; praise Him with string instruments and pipe. Praise Him with loud cymbals; praise Him with resounding cymbals. Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Praise the Lord!
Psalm 150 (NASB)

If you're weary and you know it

"Come to Me all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart;and you shall find rest for your soul. For My yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matt 11:28-30 (NASB)

Lately, I have been struggling with weariness, real true weariness. I have let myself become overwhelmed by the world and the demands of everyday life. I have felt like I was drowning in a sea of endless laundry, dishes, cleaning, cooking, homework, transporting to and from school (although I have had help transporting Jakob to school and I have been very grateful for that), diapers, crying, and whining. I have allowed myself to be beaten down to the point where I was not enjoying motherhood, and I was continually letting things slip. By the end of the week my house was a disaster and I had a full day where I did not spend any quality time with my children.

I realized today, while reading the blogs of two very dear friends, the reason for my weariness was my inability and stubborn unwillingness to fully submit to the Lord in all areas of my life. I was good with most things, I had given God my time, I had given God my commitment to raising my children for Him, I had given God my talents, I had made myself a willing servant in the church. Some may even say I was over committed to serving in the church, I have to say, however, that my service in the church is the one thing in my life that did not feel like a burden; my time in the nursery, in our children's plays, and in Teen MOPS are truly refreshing to my soul. It is easy for me to serve, and I feel I could even take on more.

So why then was I so fulfilled and refreshed at church but so weary and burdened in my highest calling? God reached out and spoke to me today through my two incredible friends and their wonderful blogs. I have not surrendered this part of my heart and my life fully and completely to Him. I have taken on a heavy burden for myself and I cannot carry it, I cannot even lift it. Christ says "take My yoke upon you and learn from me" (Matt 11:29a) I was refusing to take Christ's yoke and surrender my mothering and my homemaking to Him. I have not been following His lead. In my service at church it is for Him, I have taken His yoke and surrendered myself to Him; His burden is light, His yoke is easy. I am not burdened, but cheerful and joyous when I serve Him completly.

So today I promise to let go and give all of myself to Him. He will ease my burden. He will lift me up and give me the love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self control (Gal 5:22-23) I so desperatly need and long for.

I would like to thank my good friends for their honest and bold words that touched my heart, and praise the Lord for the message I so badly needed to hear.

It is a Zoo out there!!

Today was free day at the Denver Zoo, and let me just say it was a total zoo!! Pun intended. As I watched people milling around it became clear to me that phrase was really about people and not animals. We were surrounded by a sea of people acting as if they thought they were the only people in the zoo who wanted to walk anywhere or see anything, we were inundated by parents screaming obscenities at each other and there children, we were overwhelmed by girls in less than modest clothing; all I could think was "This is a total zoo!"

My little RJ looked up at me as we were attempting to make our way toward the exit, "Why are people bumping me, don't they know it is rude?" I didn't know what to say. All day long I was asking my children to watch out, hold doors, and keep moving so that everyone behind us would have a chance to see. Although hot, tired and frustrated we treated each other, and everyone else, with kindness and respect; all we got in return was pushed and shoved and stared at as if we were from mars (whenever we did something kind and honoring for someone else, or whenever my children listened the first time to a kind, gentle instruction) I'm not saying we were perfect there were some arguments over who got to hold the camera and the map, there was a lot of whining toward the end of the day, and we were a little agitated at times, but I really think we were a light of respect in a world darkened by selfishness.

"For the whole Law is fulfilled in one word, in the statement 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself'" Gal 5:14 (NASB)

Tickets Please

The past week the most common phrases heard in our house have been "do you have a ticket for that? "; "you did great, you get a ticket"; and "sorry, you lose a ticket". In a great attempt at cutting back on our t.v. and video game time I devised a system of t.v. and playstation tickets we all earn by going above and beyond what is expected of us. Each of the kids have a set of four 15 min t.v. tickets and a set of four 15 min playstation tickets. They earn them by doing chores before they are asked, or doing acts of kindness for each other; they lose them if they hurt each other with words or actions, if they don't get their chores done, or if they behave disrespectfully.

The last week has been full of the regular ups and downs, but we have cut down on screen time by about 50%. Mostly because I have a system to keep track of how much we are actualy watching. I have held myself accountable to the ticket system as well, I earn tickets and when they are gone they are gone no exceptions. My night time t.v. watching is way down and I am spending my time trying to do bible study and prayer as well as keep up with the house. We are all getting more down, there is less arguing, and everyone is taking care of each other ( this of course applies only to those old enough to understand)

I am trying to replace my time previously spent with the t.v. filling myself with scripture and the nourishment of the Lord, and it is reallly refreshing. I highly recomend taking the time to moniter how much of a day is spent in front of the screen, it was really eye-opening to me one day last week when I realized that the kids had 4+ hrs of screen time in one day; I tried to justify it by the fact that most of them were not well that day but the reality was it was excessive. Cutting down on screen time has forced ust to find other ways to spend time together and we have begun interacting in much better ways: playing dolls or action figures, reading, playing games, coloring, making up stories, and other fun activities are our favorite passtimes now and we are much better for it.

More hours in the day

"Then Joshua spoke to the Lord in the day when the Lord delivered up the Amorites before the sons of Israel and he said in the sight of Israel 'Oh sun stand still at Gibeon and oh moon in the valley of Aijalon.' So the sun stood and the moon stopped, until the nation avenged themselves against there enemies." Joshua 10:12-13 (NASB)

Oh how I long for a day the sun would stand still and the moon stop long enough for me to avenge myself against my bitter enemies: Laundry, Dishes, Bathrooms, Vacuuming, Dusting; they are vicious foes and they triumph every time we go to battle. I need more hours in the day to get all this done. I want to be able to play with my kids in the backyard after homework is done with my first grader or before my preschoolers got to school without thinking about the stack of dirty dishes, the mountain of laundry, or the bathroom floor. I want the bathroom floor, the mountain of laundry ,and the stack of dirty dishes to stay done for more than an hour. Just once I would like to accomplish everything on my list and have the time my kids need to just have fun and be together.

We get through our chores, our homework, and most nights our Bible study and prayer, but things are never done!! I need more hours in the day! I just can't do everything on my own. The good news? I don't have to; "Be strong and courageous do not be afraid or tremble at them for the Lord your God is the one who goes with you He will not fail you or forsake you...The Lord is the one who goes ahead of you He will be with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed" Deut 31:6,8

God is with us we can do this; I will not fear my vicious foes, I will have the courage to face them day after day after day for I know my God is with me. He has called me to this task and if I lean on Him and trust in Him completely he will equip me for my daily struggle.

F.O.F

My almost seven month old daughter has made an incredible discovery over the last few weeks; she has determined that she desperately needs independent mobility. Being the youngest of five she has learned that if she wants something or needs to escape, she needs to do so for herself and quickly. For the past two months rolling around was sufficient to meet her mobility needs; that phase has passed and she now desires to crawl. She is not satisfied with the army crawl or her previous attempt at scooting across the floor on her back, she desires up on her hands and knees crawling. She is able to get up on her hands and knees and she is able to crawl; she , however, does not realize this. She doubts her ability to move all four limbs, independently, more than once. As an outsider I have observed her and I know without a doubt that she is able , the only thing holding her back is her own self doubt.

I started thinking about self doubt as I watched her this morning. I started thinking about my own self doubt. I continually doubt my ability to raise five children, keep them all safe, meet all their needs, train them for the Lord, give them each the individual attention they need, and still have enough of myself to give to the Lord, my husband , and the house. I am abounding in weaknesses in all of these areas. I sometimes wonder if God made a mistake when He chose me for these tasks; although I know He never makes mistakes. I only ever see my flaws, how wild my children are in public, how messy my house and my van always are, how I am always too tired to give any of my self to God or my husband genuinely, etc. etc. etc. The list of my failures and shortcomings is endless.

I was raised to only see my flaws, I was never praised as a child, all I ever heard was how I missed a spot on the counter, or my A should have been an A+, or how on note in my aria was just a bit sharp, or I will just never look as good as so and so but I should try harder anyway. Now I love my mom and I know she did the best she thought she could raising us to be humble, but I am so acutely in tune with my flaws and my failures that I have a hard time feeling worthy of motherhood. I suffer from a severe case of Fear of Failure (F.O.F.)

As I though about just how incredibly inept, and weak I am I remembered a passage I recently read to my kids. "And He said to me 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.' Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong." 2Cor 12:9-10 (NASB) God made me to do this job with my specific weaknesses so He can be my strength and so He can be glorified through me. He watches over me knowing that I can accomplish this task He has set before me because He made me to do it. Just as I watch over Emery knowing she is stronger and more capable than she believes.

Discipline?

A booklet was sent home with my two pre-schoolers yesterday; it was titled "How To Shape Or Change Your Childs Behavior". I though it would be interesting so I took a couple minutes to look through it. I was shocked at what I found inside. The basice premise was refocusing the attention you give to your child's (or children's) behavior. The first page stated that children crave attention and will do anything to get it, I completely agreed with this so I kept reading. It went on to say that or society focus most of our attention on the negative, even in our homes; it gave the example of a family member taking out the trash every day for a week then not doing it for one day. In most cases the other family members would not notice the 7 days the trash was taken out, they would only notice the one day it was skipped. I have to say I would probably do the same.

At this point the book was encouraging parents to spend more time acknowleding the good things, to give praise for the things our kids do right especially if we haven't told them to. I am in total support of the booklet up to this point. This year my oldest started first grade at a new school; our mornings have been terrible, full of crying screaming, spanking, etc. On monday this week he got himself up, got dressed , complete with socks and shoes which is our biggest morning struggle (really one of our biggest struggles with him period, his sensory integration issues make socks and shoes a huge ordeal) he made his own lunch and got his back pack ready to go, all before I was out of the shower. You would think he had cured cancer with all the praise I heaped on. I was truly proud of him and thankful that he took the responsibility to get himself ready. It is now wednesday and every day has been this way in the morning. All of the times I had to punish him for a bad morning were not half as effective as the one time I praised him for a job well done.

Then I turned the page to find in big bold letters: "Give attention to good behavior and ignore bad behavior." Ignore bad behavior? I could hardly believe that. The rest of the booklet gave simple ways to encourage good behavior, while continually reinforcing the idea of ignoring the bad behavior. One example it gave was to take a child who has colored on the wall and give her a coloring book instead. This is an example that is very vivid to me as I have four little wall, floor, and everything else artists. I have not yet found a solution to this problem but I can say from experience that ignoring it and giving the child a coloring book is not it!

The thought of ignoring my preschoolers bad behavior is just appaling to me. We are instructed to "Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it." Prov 22:6 (NASB). I just don't see how we can do that if we don't correct their bad behavior. I am all in favor of encouraging and praising good behavior, if we didn't we would have a bunch of discouraged frustrated children, believing they can do nothing right so why bother trying. But what happens to children who are never corrected? If we don't teach them that certain behaviors are simply unacceptable who will?

The Bible is very clear on how we should discipline our children. Proverbs is full of guidelines for parents. Here are a couple of my favorites regarding correction:"Do not hold back discipline from the child, even though you strike him with the rod he will not die." Prov 23:13 We are called to discipline our children and correct them when they do wrong. "Discipline your son while there is hope, do not desire his death" We need to raise our children right from the start so they will not fall away and die spiritually. If we fail to give them discipline now, they have no hope of developing self discipline. Ignoring a toddlers behavior will lead to ignoring a teenagers behavior. I wonder if the so-called "experts" that encourage parents to ignore a preschoolers bad behavior would also encourage parents to ignore their teenagers drugs, drining, or sexual behavior?

If we dscipline and correct our children now they will grow into disciplined, respectfull, hard working adults. We will be able to raise up a generation the fears the Lord. Our children will be a delight and a joy; "correct your son and he will give you comfort; he will also delight your soul." Prov 29:11

My first blog

I was recently inspired, by a friends blog on motherhood, to begin a blog of my own. In today's culture being the mother of many children is not widely accepted, add to that the close spacing of my children and I feel as though I'm Hester Prynn anytime I am out in public with my five little blessings.

I decided to start this as sort of a journal of my experience as the mother of a large family so that I might inspire or encourage others in the same position. I hope that when you read this you can relate to my experiences, learn from my mistakes, and just find comfort in knowing there are others out there trying to raise up a generation that fears the Lord.