If you're weary and you know it

"Come to Me all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart;and you shall find rest for your soul. For My yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matt 11:28-30 (NASB)

Lately, I have been struggling with weariness, real true weariness. I have let myself become overwhelmed by the world and the demands of everyday life. I have felt like I was drowning in a sea of endless laundry, dishes, cleaning, cooking, homework, transporting to and from school (although I have had help transporting Jakob to school and I have been very grateful for that), diapers, crying, and whining. I have allowed myself to be beaten down to the point where I was not enjoying motherhood, and I was continually letting things slip. By the end of the week my house was a disaster and I had a full day where I did not spend any quality time with my children.

I realized today, while reading the blogs of two very dear friends, the reason for my weariness was my inability and stubborn unwillingness to fully submit to the Lord in all areas of my life. I was good with most things, I had given God my time, I had given God my commitment to raising my children for Him, I had given God my talents, I had made myself a willing servant in the church. Some may even say I was over committed to serving in the church, I have to say, however, that my service in the church is the one thing in my life that did not feel like a burden; my time in the nursery, in our children's plays, and in Teen MOPS are truly refreshing to my soul. It is easy for me to serve, and I feel I could even take on more.

So why then was I so fulfilled and refreshed at church but so weary and burdened in my highest calling? God reached out and spoke to me today through my two incredible friends and their wonderful blogs. I have not surrendered this part of my heart and my life fully and completely to Him. I have taken on a heavy burden for myself and I cannot carry it, I cannot even lift it. Christ says "take My yoke upon you and learn from me" (Matt 11:29a) I was refusing to take Christ's yoke and surrender my mothering and my homemaking to Him. I have not been following His lead. In my service at church it is for Him, I have taken His yoke and surrendered myself to Him; His burden is light, His yoke is easy. I am not burdened, but cheerful and joyous when I serve Him completly.

So today I promise to let go and give all of myself to Him. He will ease my burden. He will lift me up and give me the love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self control (Gal 5:22-23) I so desperatly need and long for.

I would like to thank my good friends for their honest and bold words that touched my heart, and praise the Lord for the message I so badly needed to hear.